If you keep bailing out of relationships everytime they hit troubled waters, get used to your own company-it’s the only company you’ll have!. The best relationship you can hope for is an imperfect one you keep working on everyday. Relationships can’t be based on seing eye-to-eye on all points, but on a commitment to love each other and a willingness to work for peace.
Notice, peace making is ‘work’, but the rewards are worth it. Relationships are always worth restoring God wants us to value our relationships instead of discarding them everytime there’s a problem.
If you are serious about restoring a broken relationship, before you talk to the other person, talk to God. He can change their heart, your heart or both hearts. It’s just amazing how different you feel when you’ve prayed.
Often, the conflicts is rooted in unmet needs. Anytime you expect human beings to meet needs only God can meet, you are in trouble. What causes…..quarrels among you?. You want something but don’t get it….You don’t have, because you didn’t ask God! instead of looking to God. You look to people.
Then you get angry when they fail you. Make sure you arrange to talk to them one-on-one. Even though you’ve been offended, God expects you to make the first move.
We say; time heals; not necessarily, sometimes it just causes wounds to fester. Taking control of the situation reduces damage. Bitterness only hurts your fellowship with God and keeps your prayers from being answered.
Don’t try 2 mend a relationship when u’re tired, rushed or will be interrupted. And don’t do it on the hoof!. The time and effort you’re willing to put into restoring it indicates the value you place on the relationship so do it when you’re both at your best.
Getting along with each other requires more than compliance. It calls for cooperation. So make sure you validate the other person’s feelings!.
Never try to talk someone out of how they ‘feel’ listen without being defensive, and nod that you understand.- Even when you don’t agree. Feelings aren’t always true or logical, but until they’re validated you won’t get anywhere.
When you are willing to empathise with someone feelings, it says; I care about our relationship more than our differences; you matter to me! yes, it’s a sacrifice to patiently absorb somebody’s anger especially when it is unfounded.
Since we all have blind spots, get a friend to help you evaluate your attitudes and actions before meeting with the other person. Ask God, ”Am I part of the problem? Am I unrealistic, insensitive or too sensitive?” confession is a powerful tool!.
When you can admit your flaws, it defuses the other person’s anger because they are expecting you to be defensive. Don’t make excuses or shift blames, just acknowledge your part.
Here are 2 things you must do in order to mend a broken relationship:-
1. Attack the problem, not the person.
You can’t fix the problem, if you’re obsessed with fixing the blame. In resolving any conflict, how you say it is important. If you say it offensively, you’ll be received defensively. You are never persuasive when you’re abrasive!. Don’t use words that are condemning, belittling, comparing, labeling, insulting. Condescending or sarcastic rather, use…..helpful words… that what you’ll say will do good to those who hear you.
2. Focus on your relationship, not your differences. It’s unrealistic to expect everybody to agree about everything. But when we focus on the relationship, the problem often loses its significance, it dimninishes or become irrelevant. Often we can re-establish the relationship even though we’re unable to resolve your differences. We’ll always have honest disagreements.
You may need to continue discussing it-but now you agree to do it in the spirit of love. Reconciliation means burying the hatchet, not necessarily the issue. So who do you need to contact now?. With whom do you need to restore fellowship?. Pick up the phone and begin the process…..

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